Bonding And Connection With Others.
Bonding and connection with others are basic human needs. People suffering from intimacy disorders crave closeness but also fear it due to a number of factors that may include histories of abandonment and unhealthy attachment issues, past trauma, and emotional or physical neglect or abuse.
Because those with intimacy disorders associate emotional closeness and vulnerability with pain or fear, they learn to protect themselves from real or perceived rejection by developing maladaptive coping skills. These may take the form of acting out sexually with multiple partners, porn addiction, dating emotionally unavailable partners or other self-defeating behaviors.
People with intimacy disorders suffer and self-medicate in many ways that interfere with healthy functioning. Symptoms of intimacy disorders may include:
Substance abuse
Behavioral addictions such as eating disorders or compulsive gambling
Low self-esteem or narcissistic tendencies
Multiple sex partners or chronic infidelity
Histories of physical, emotional or sexual abuse or other forms of trauma
Co-occurring disorders like depression, anxiety and personality disorders
Both craving and fearing intimacy
Deep-rooted fear of abandonment
Hypersensitivity to perceived or real rejection
Inability to find or stay in intimate relationships
Trouble being vulnerable or “real” in relationships
Seeking out situations that offer a real or perceived sense of control
Attraction to partners who are emotionally unavailable
Social phobias
Self-monitoring so others don’t see “flaws” or emotions
Feelings of loneliness and isolation despite many friends and relationships
Treatment for Intimacy Disorders
The goals of treatment for intimacy disorders are to help clients eliminate problematic coping behaviors; address underlying issues like trauma and co-occurring disorders that sustain these challenges; and learn to feel safe with emotional, sexual, spiritual and intellectual intimacy.
Components of intimacy disorder treatment include:
Individual and group therapy
Couples and family counseling
Abstinence from problematic sexual or self-defeating relationship patterns
Appropriate boundary-setting techniques
Accountability and self-forgiveness for behavior that has hurt others
Shame-resilience counseling
Trauma-focused therapies
Relapse prevention skills and planning
12-step groups or other support groups
Dr Anshul Mahajan